CANCER

I try to headline all my posts to get attention, and then tell the story I alluded to, so here goes.

I've had cancer for about six years that I've been aware of, and maybe longer.  I have told hardly anybody, outside of immediate family, brothers, bosses at the time, and just a couple others.

I was not trying to keep it a "secret", and I was not in denial.  I suppose I wanted to keep my diagnosis from being the focus of attention it so often becomes when you let people know you have cancer.  The condition hasn't preoccupied my mind or my consciousness of how I think about myself. In fact, I felt as healthy and energetic as ever.  I managed to forget about it for long stretches of time.

So I didn't want my cancer diagnosis to preoccupy anyone else's mind either, thus my silence.

I know there are people that, upon learning they have cancer, have a great urgency to let people know.  Some people find it pervades their thinking, and feel they must do whatever aggressive thing is necessary to rid themselves of it.

I'm not like that.  Since I didn't think about it, I didn't want the attention/reminder of my illness, however well-intentioned, that often comes with the disclosure.

I was diagnosed with cancer of the prostate, and if there is a lucky thing about this, it is that prostate cancer is generally slow-growing.  If there's an unlucky thing, it's that I was on the young side at the outset when I was diagnosed.  For all the guys out there, if you live long enough, there's a good chance you'll get it, too. If you're old enough when you get it, you won't have to do anything, because you'll probably die of something else!

I haven't been passive or fatalistic about having cancer.  I get regular PSA's and biopsies.  It's called "watchful waiting" and I've been under the care of Memorial Sloan Kettering, the best or as good as the best anywhere in the treatment of cancer.  I have great confidence in my doctor.

But as is the nature of cancer, mine grew to a more advanced stage.  So the time came to act.  My decision, based on medical tests and consultations, was to have an operation that would make me cancer-free, with any luck. . . . . 

I'm telling all of you about my treatment because it is now after the fact.  I had the operation this past summer, spent some months recovering, and now I'm back to normal, assuming I ever was normal.  I took time off from this blog, as having an adventurous life in retirement and recuperating from surgery are self-excluding realities.  I received a completely clear and negative pathology report in September, and other tests have since shown the operation achieved what I wanted:  to be cancer-free, and not suffering from post-operative side effects as can happen.

I am very grateful to all of you who reached out to me during my recovery, which helped more than you can possibly know.

And next post, I promise, will be on sunnier subjects, including being a judge at the Soho International Film Festival, and a trip to the Galapagos!